Yes you're angry. But... you don't have to respond at all.
You want to respond, you can respond here, it actually does help to get it out but if you respond by calling or by texting or by emailing or by writing out a letter with pen & paper and sending that to your wife, that will accomplish nothing. If anything it will solidify her opinion of you in her mind.
I won't lie to you.
When people you love do things to hurt you, it does hurt. I don't care what anyone says, it hurts. And you have feelings, everyone does, and we all want to be acknowledged and valued and we want to be taken care of and thought of especially when we're hurt.
But in these times, especially with what you're going through, that one person (your wife), isn't going to be that person.
You're a man.
You do deserve better.
But you can't sit on your a$$ and expect it to be delivered like Dominoes pizza.
Life don't work like that.
Here's that quote from the last rocky movie and although I'll be one of the first to admit that it isn't a literary masterpiece, these words are so freakin' true, you can't help with resonate with them and be lifted up after reading them several times.
I suggest you read this, print it out, tape it on a wall somewhere, frame it, whatever. This is you. You're the one that's been knocked down, you're the one that's being forced down and not being let back up and you're the one who's going to have to make that choice to get up, get stronger, better and go after what you want but in doing so remember that you're going to get hit again, whether or not you get back up is up to you.
"...what is it he said to the kid? The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very rough mean place, and no matter how tough you think you are, it will always bring you to your knees and keep you there, permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain't about how hard you hit, it about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward, if you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth but you gotta be willin' to take the hit!"
If you need to respond to her job listing and quite frankly I don't think you need to, tit for tat is so childish, you know you're value, you don't need to get sucked into every fight, you don't need to reduce yourself to her level. If you're better, then act like it, plain and simple.
Here's your response, "thanks for the job listing but I think in the end it should be my choice what job I end up taking but feel free to continue giving me this info on other job opportunities, I don't mind the help one bit!" ;-)
You got her message, you smiled at her attempt to kick you out or whatever it was and then you told her that you're in charge of your life (not her's, your's) and you're going to be fine no matter what happens.
You don't need to be mean, spiteful, vindictive,etc.
If she has BPD and she's doing all of this, great, that's her excuse and let her deal with that problem which btw isn't going away, it's something she's going to have deal with, either now or sometime later in her life, she will need to take care of this HERSELF - you can't do this for her.
So again, she has BPD and that's her excuse and we'll let her use that as a crutch for all that crazy $hit that she pulls.
But you're a MAN, you don't rely on any crutches, you lead your life and it's direction and you don't have to return fire with fire.
When she pulls these stunts just shake your head and realize that it's her attempt to hurt you or control you but it's coming from a place that she doesn't have much control over. You on the other hand have control of your life - don't make any excuses for your behavior, you just act the RIGHT way because when you look back at all of this, regardless if this works out or not, you acted with integrity and honor with respect for your well being and hers and you will have no shame in your life if you can say that, trust me.
