I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Quart9]

Thank you for mentioning these books GH31. I will look for a copy of them.

My parents had my sister and I during their second marriage. My Dad was and still is a workaholic and (to spare you the long story) near the time of my parents divorce he kinda became nuts because of it. My Mom finally had enough of it and left him. It is sad because it seems neither have ever been able to have a healthy marriage.

The reason she wanted an abortion is because OM threw her on the sh!theap after learning she was pregnant with my baby and got himself a new GF. OM didn't want her to have the abortion in the end and couldn't trust W either.

Atleast her OM was decent enough not to push for her to have the abortion!

If your W has some trouble with OM, if she gets bored with him, if he goes away on a trip without her, or dumps her then she'll likely get in touch.

If you've done something like file before her or exposed her affair she will have nuclear anger for a few days followed by respect for you. She'll probably be confused about the fact she's respecting you, but you should not be.

I dunno man. She is so proud and stubborn I can't really see her contacting me again even if he does something wrong to her. Plus, I'm pretty sure she knows I would serve her a nice helping of "I told you so" if she did.

She eventually would respect me for exposing the affair? I have been pondering the idea of exposing their affair. My attorney told me that if I ever wanted to reconcile with her I should not do it, but I'm not really worried about reconciliation now. Plus, my thing is I'm sure my W has portrayed herself as a victim in all of this and I'm the a$$hole. None of her family knows about OM and I'm almost feel certain her BFF's don't know about him. I think she has done her best to hide him and preserve her image, and I feel like they all see her as this wholesome poor thing that has done all she can but just can't go on anymore. If they only knew.

More importantly, OM and her are both "first responders," and they have a code of conduct they are supposed to follow. Ironically (yeah right), they both have a part-time job at the same hospital. I thought about exposing their affair to HR at that hospital, plus I thought about exposing the affair to OM's main job because they subbed him out to work part-time at this hospital (I've been doing some digging). I've also contemplated exposing them to OM W, but I'm sure OM and his W are separated (she moved out I found out) and I have no idea of the dynamics of their relationship - like - will it even make a difference to OM W and will she even care. They are still friends with each other on FB, but I have no idea if they communicate. They were also high school sweethearts - creepy.

So GH31, if you or anyone else have thoughts on my exposing their affair let me know.