I can tell you that "caught in the headlight stare" comes from a cauldron of boiling emotion that your husbands simply are scared to death to express. You will have to press for the answer. You will also have to not let it bowl you over or offend you when you get it.
I will bet good money on the problem having a simple root cause.
Men are not dumb because they can't express emotion the same way you do. We are simply wired differently. We don't open our mouths and emotion pours out. There is all kinds of research as to why that is true.
In the same way you want us to understand you, we want the same. Our approach is completely different than yours. Generically speaking, you think we are retarded emotionally, we think that you are far to involved with how you feel. All this is already well known. Again, my point is that there is likely something simple holding him back.
Lastly, I don't believe it is possible that your spouses don't know there is a problem. My previously LD wife knew there was a problem, she just didn't want to embrace the repair. Your guys know there is a problem - it is just easier to act dumb when you are a guy. That's what women typically expect of us anyway.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
