This is my first post over on this side of things….
I went to an IC appt. this weekend and believe that I’ve stayed off of this thread because I am fearful that what’s happening isn’t going to last or isn’t real. However the truth is, that we’ve just recently weathered our first crisis while piecing and we did pretty well. We came out a bit bruised and battered but wiser on the other side.
If any of you care to see the background, here are the two threads that I had going while we were in the “thick of it”.
Recently, during our piecing crisis, I posted on the WAW board. But today, especially after the wonderful weekend we had….it’s time to come on here. I can’t freak out every time we get into a tricky situation and I have to stop listening to people who keep telling me to leave.
Truth time…..my H is not the man I should be with. I should’ve worked out my self esteem issues LONG before we met and that girl, the more confident one, would have most certainly chosen differently. But, I didn’t and this is the man I married (second marriage by the way) and had my amazing daughter with. This is the father of my child and the person I made a convenent to love and stand by the rest of my life. That said, I’m not the W he would’ve chosen if he had all his stuff worked out too. Believe me, for as much issues as he has, I’ve got them to match.
We’re in it trying to do our best to keep our daughters world in tack and also doing our best to model the best possible relationship for her. We fail at that sometimes but I believe the fact that we are so committed to trying is what will keep us in it for the long haul. God, it’s so scary to write that sentence. 6 months ago I wouldn’t have dreamed of writing that sentence. I had all I could do to get up, breath, go to work and take care of our DD. Now I say it and 90% of me believes it. It’s truly a miracle.
I just wanted to start this journey over here FINALLY. I have read so many posts on this forum and have learned so much from many of you. I will continue to post here and continue to learn. From all of my 12-step work I understand that my participation by “coming back” also helps others and I can be of service this way. Through my service to others is where the healing really begins. Thanks to all for listening and being there.
Gina B
M 43 H 34 D 4 H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18; *I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)
