Stop all of that working. Allow and accept, one hundred percent, whatever your mate thinks, feels, or does is perfectly okay.
It's perfectly okay.
Their negative feelings towards you will weaken , because their negative feeling needs something in you to fight with. And when you sincerely see what's on their side, when you sincerely agree with them, and when you lovingly and sincerely go one hundred percent totally, instantly, and happily your mate's way, when you do that there's nothing for their negative feeling to build on.
You have put the white flag up.
You've thrown your gun down.
That forces them to do the same thing. They cannot shoot you when you have no gun. When you're not defending yourself, THEY want to defend you.
It's not normal to not defend yourself, but it is healthy.
Agree with them.
Do not disagree at all.
It's not to your advantage. ....Her negative or his negative attitudes towards you are being supported by you communicating what you want.
I read the above on another thread and have been wondering whether it is time for me to start being there every now and then when WAH picks up the kids for his visit.
For the last month or so I've made myself 'unavailable' at pick up and drop off times because I wasn't sure I could handle seeing him without breaking down. I think I'd be able to face him now, for a few minutes at least, without doing so.
I know him and OW made up since my last post and he's going to see her the first week of March (for the week). They may fight again (or not)... what will be will be...
I'm not sure if I should be continuing to be "dark" or go to "dim" for a bit. I think that at some point I should try and get to a place where he can vent and I can validate but that won't happen if I'm still avoiding face-to-faces...
Would his being able to 'vent' to me weaken the negative anger towards me?
Am I overthinking this and should I continue to be 'dark' with my busy life?
Experienced MLC battlers.. please chime in.. (2x4s appreciated if I deserve one..)
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
