"She would just say "I can't help that he decided to attend the same event WE did, what do you want me to do, tell the kids, 'sorry we have to go home.'"
When she left, did you make it clear to her that she was not to be in contact with the OM or that the kids couldn't? If so, then I would ask her about it. If you laid down the boundary, it has to be addressed.
It's like a teenager sneaking out to go out. If you ignore it, she thinks she will have gotten away with it. Kindly remind her that you are the children's father and do not want them to be where the OM is. If he is to be in a public gathering, she is to tell you so that there is full transparency. Just say that she still has to earn back your trust.
When she left it was because of refusal to cut off OM contact. She wanted me to swap out to her place on weekends so she could be at home with the kids. So I cut a deal that I would agree to that if she cut off all contact. It lasted a couple of weeks and then I discovered contact was not cut off, so the deal is off.
There is no NC agreement now that we are separated. I realize that it would be pointless until/unless she seeks to reconcile.
There is still an agreement that our children are not to be exposed to the OM.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
