I am not going to go deep into detail about my and my W history, just know there have been A’s on both sides, me ONS and PA 7 years ago, W EA 4 years ago, EA/PA last year till D-Day about her A’s in Dec 2009, I gave her the full honest truth about my A’s in Jan 2010, our M is in it’s 15th Year, we both 39 years old, S 20, D 14, D 9.
So I have been spending tons of time reading all the resources on the internet, forums etc.., found tons of help from www.marriagebuilders.com if you read the forums there you can see my full story under the same user as here in the Surviving an Affair section, I did not know much about how to save a marriage, and I tried to find anything and everything I could out there on the internet about how to survive an affair.
Recently my W told me she had come to the conclusion that she is in what she feels stage 3 of a MLC, I again did not know much about what a MLC is, so again I started reading as much as I could find about what and how to cope with a W in MLC, I have spent mountains of time reading these forums, and have found great inspiration from many of your stories here.
Now my W and myself have not spoken at all about a D, she has not indicated anything in this direction, but has told me she does not know from one day to another what she wants, and thankfully I now have a better understanding of what to expect from these forums, I have started to GAL for myself thanks again to everyone here, also started getting myself back to a health stage I was in long ago, man I let myself go so badly, but this is changing
Right now the only question I have is, when she seems to show feelings towards me do I embrace it, as one day everything feels fine, but in an hour or even the next day she is totally done a 180 and I feel lost again. I have told her I am not going to initiate any physical contact, as it hurts more when I get nothing back as I can n0ot read her mind, is this the right way to approach this.
She has issues from when she was a child, we have spoken about her finding an IC and I do encourage this, but can not make her do it. Do I just leave it for her to sort out, or try keep encouraging her to go to a IC.
Enough for now, I must say thanks for everyone and the replies I have learned so much from on others threads, they make one think a lot clearer than I ever did before.
