I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[GH31]

Quart9,

You're welcome.

Its crazy because despite all of this it STILL seems like getting over will be tough.

Yes mate, it will be tough.

Make no mistake about it.

A lot of it is the stupid day-to-day things and little stuff I remember about her/us.

Yes. This will be so.

Am I going to compare the women I meet in the future to her?

Yes.

and (despite what she has done) will I find someone better?

Yes.

Keep reading here. Learn about the kind of man that nearly all well-adjusted women would be thrilled to have as a husband and be that man.

Both of my parents have been married four times each.

Wow.

How long (approximately) were each of these marriages?

I'm absorbing this - most of what I have felt IS anger because I think I am all grieved out really.

This is arguably the hardest thing you will ever have to deal with in this lifetime.

You can expect to cycle through rage, overwhelming sadness, feeling like wanting to beg, grovel, vengefulness, jealousy - all of it, and you will do for some time.

I keep getting this repeat mental image of her doing it with another dude!

I'm getting an enormous feeling of déjà vu reading this.

This is your thread but I'll share with you some of the thoughts and feelings I had. I wanted to hit OM's head with a sledgehammer, I wanted to run him over with a steamroller feet first, get my career-criminal uncle who lived nearby to torch his house.

Then during the time my wife has been home her haughty, indifferent attitude has at times made me want to be violent with her too. I've felt like smashing her face with a brick - the worse thing (for me) is that she had sex with OM whilst she was pregnant with our son and was threatening to have him aborted. I haven't been violent with her though - I have told her she deserves all the pain she's felt, that it's a right and just outcome given the choices she has made.

I feel for you Quart9, I really do.

Tomorrow I am skipping class and making a B-line to my attorney.

Good.

I think now its gonna be a race to see who files first.

Make sure you win.

I just pray that she doesn't find a way to put a restraining order on me and spoil my chances at spousal support.

Be outside the door of your attorney's office before s/he gets there.

I'm also going NC until we are required to talk due to the D, filing our taxes, whatever.

Good.

She hasn't been talking to me recently anyhow and I don't expect that to change.

It will, but probably not yet.

Adulterous wives to respond only to their own discomfort. Yours will do the same in time.

Hang in there son.

GH31