Can't stop at 666 posts.

I don't know why I can't let the past go, I think I've analyzed every mistake I made.

It hurts we missed out on a lot, but the time we had together, when we were together, it was fun. Those thoughts pop up major ouch.

Then an insult or attack from denial through this period and ouch.

Add in the no kids and bam, just something I need to keep working through.

Find out tomorrow if D is going to be suspended and meet with cnslr that D slanted everything to.

lost bball game yesterday, soon to be x father in law was there, he never comes into town, he has not autistic but similar, he's just odd anyway, he said he'd email me pics he took at game, said ok, he said no animosity towards me that wife doesn't talk to him about it, but she's his daughter, said hey she's the love of my life, if could undo this or what lead to this would fix it in a heart beat.

wife didn't say a word to me, walked by her twice and I wasn't mean, I just acted as if she wasn't there, so no I didn't say hi either, a friend of mine came to game and she did say hi to him though and of course my dad.

my soon to be ex filaw did mention, wife's said your families' been very nice to her,said fil u don't know, ur 3 hrs away and have a 5 min convo with her once a month, none of us like this, but we have a idea as to what lead to this divorce, she is ur daughter, don't want the pics from you, you got married, i sent u something u didn't reply or say thanks,i didn't go into to much detail with him, just said i didn't know there was a problem with our marriage until 2 wks after gpa died and wife said maybe she didn't grieve enough and she was very angry with me, that is the closest I came to bashing her. we had some other small talk, he asked about business told him i wasn't in sales anylonger, nothing too specific, like i said he has whatever this autism not autism deal, so he's hard to talk to anyway. If it weren't for a shot gun wedding he wouldn't have been married to wifes mom. He worked a lot on purpose and had a lot of gfriends on the side, that's what ended a 25 yr marriage for he and mil.

i bash her in my mind or to the dog quite a bit, but in public or to family, friends, no. Then i remember, she can't control it.