H4L, it sounds like how you set the boundary worked really well! I'm really glad you left the room. I wish I had done that more in the past...it allows them to cool down rather than continue to target their anger at us.
It's draining though, and I'm sure that's part of how you're feeling now. I think that the more you practice, the better it will get, and I hope that you continue to get the immediate positive feedback of him changing his tack right away.
About reliability. That was an issue in our M. Even though H was unreliable in many ways that Ws would expect from their Hs, I know that some times when I let H down (regarding financial/paperwork stuff) was a real issue for him. I feel that it's something that I need to address and work on a 180 for. I am going to try to surprise him by having my tax stuff ready for him BEFORE he asks for it, and I'll be thinking of other things to do as well.
We can't expect ourselves to be perfect and neither can our Hs. And your oversight is no excuse for him wigging out. But I just wanted to share my own insights into an area that needs a 180 in my sitch.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
