Quote: Own it. Get him to the point that he is willing to own it, too. I'm sure you know very well that recognizing there is a problem is half the battle.
I've got one of those guys that is happy as long as your happy. Doesn't complain about anything, doesn't ask for anything etc. When on the rare occassion we have a bit of an r talk he assures me everything is fine and he's happy.
Quote: Clearly, you have needs that are not being met, and it ISN'T all you, though I think I said that in my last post. He has needs that aren't being met, and I don't think HE is clearly communicating them to you, or I'm sure you'd be more than happy to do what you could to accommodate him.
he swears he just easy like that...doesn't want for much...need for much or perhaps he doesn't even realize it himself. As I stated above though, he doesn't complain and would not say that he is unhappy or not having his needs met unless of course one of his needs is to be left alone to do whatever he wants without feeling guilty for not paying attention to the wife and kids.
Quote: Sorry, I did not mean to make you cry.
I often cry when I read a post that is right on and doesn't allow me to hide from the truth I know inside.
Quote: Because it is a language you understand. What you do not understand is HIS language.
I've come to "think" that his language's are acts of service and words of affirmation while mine are quality time and physical touch.
I do my best to praise him, compliment him and the work he does. I do his laundry, offer to take care of what I can for him or just do it. Again no complaints from him.
Quote: So what you've determined here is that anger is not getting what you want, and being a friend to him is not getting you what you want.
anger only gets me so far, tired of feeling like I'm being manipulative in getting angry and wishing that I could just allow myself to express fear without hiding behind the defense of anger.
Being his friend does get me closer to the goal but not quite there.
Quote: Let me interrupt myself here by saying I hope that you understand that you are in fact a wonderful, giving person and someone completely worthy of being loved for who and what you are. If you don't truly know this, then you have some work to do with yourself. Regardless of what he does or doesn't do, you can concentrate on yourself because you are worth it.
btw, I also tend to get a bit teary when folks compliment me!
Quote: If so, then I think it's time to go to Plan B.
