Take your time to absorb this. Take your time to grieve. Now is not the time to be angry. Cut off all contact for at least a few days so you can recover.
Stay strong.
This is GREAT advice...I know you might not want to hear that now but it's the truth.
My take on this --- the relationship was probably slowly going south for several years...it's done with, you can't change the past - but after some time passes really start reflecting on what went wrong and what you may need to work on for future relationships - be it with her or someone else. This really helped me let go of my anger...
Look in 99% of these cases, two people are at fault for the state of relationship, NOT THE AFFAIR, but the relationship in general. Learn from this and vow to yourself not to make the same mistakes in the future.
She was missing something from you - emotional connection or something - whatever it was had been missing for a while and she met this need with OM. In many cases, the WAW is NOT sorry for the affair because this need was met. They may be genuinely sorry they hurt you but not sorry for their actions - they are two separate things.
Right now she's in the fog and is doing the usual script - rewriting marital history, etc. Most of this have seen this...and it sucks ass.
It doesn't mean a death sentence for a relationship with her - but only YOU can decide what you can tolerate and put up with, how long you'll wait, etc. As Gnosis said - you need to step back and just try to absorb this for a bit.
I stopped eating and sleeping for the better part of two weeks...It was awful, but just don't do anything rash because you're going through a blur of emotions right now.
My situation hasn't improved at all - but at least I have some clarity now and am much more self aware of what I'm dealing with...that took the better part of two months for me.
