DU, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I haven't read all of your posts, so I apologize if you've covered this already.
Are you depressed? If you're not sure, please see your doctor. You're coming off as a depressed person to me. I've BTDT so I know how hard it is. I don't think that one can successfully DB with untreated depression so I strongly encourage you to follow up on this ASAP if this might be an issue for you.
The actions you take or fail to take right now will cast a long shadow, whether or not reconciliation takes place. You need to muster up your best self to deal with your sitch, and I know how depression saps one's energy and one's will to act.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
