True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[Silver Fox]

The D was final two weeks ago - Feb 5. H, excuse me, xh got his precious D. I must admit that I'm taking it much, much harder than I thought I would. I've had a similar reaction as the bomb days - loss of appetite, sleeping very late on weekends, and just a draggy, listless feeling. Mostly grief and some disbelief.

The D day was interesting to say the least. The judge asked xh to stand first and asked him how long we had been married - xh studdered and finally said 21 years. Then the judge asked "have you made an honest and sincere effort to reconcile this marriage?" Yes sir H says. SAY WHAT???? I looked hard over at him but he didn't flinch. Then judge asked "is there anything the court can do to help reconcile this marriage?" No sir.

Great, now the judge is going to ask me the same thing. I was ready. I said - "Your honor, this is my H's divorce. I have no choice but to let him go." I guess he accepted that answer because he went on to the 2nd question - I looked over at H again and his L, dramatic pause, then said no sir.

I mean really, anything the court can do??? I wanted to say like what for instance - knock H in the head, lock OW up in a trunk and throw it in the ocean? Why did he ask me that and WHY DIDN'T MY L TELL ME HE WAS GOING TO ASK ME THAT? If I had said, well MC would be a start seeing as I had no idea anything was wrong until H walked out, would that have delayed the D?

I'm now in the process of putting all xh's stuff in one room. I emailed first and told him to plan on coming March 6 to get it all. I nixed the other dates as I need more time to sort it all out. Sort out 21 years of M - his, mine, his, mine. What fun. He emailed back "I was going to email you tonight too". Yeah, right.

I suppose I'll move to Surviving the D forum now. MLC forum wasn't much help anyway. I hope those of you who have supported me will check in on me there too?!