Wow! I'm starting to think malpractice here. Your L is a real piece of work! No wonder she dragged her feet so much, she was just churning you for higher fees.
And about the being D'ed for nearly two months without any knowledge -- If I were you I don't know if I would want to laugh or cry! At least that much is over, but it's like you've been paroled all that time and yet no one ever bothered to release you from "jail".
The only comments the judge made is that he thinks a lot of our communication problems are b/c we both referred to the kids as "my son" or my daughter rather than our son and our daughter....Right....that'll solve everything!
You know, there's no winning there either. Whenever I try to refer to S9 and S5 as "our S's" or "our children", xW just bristles with seething anger -- she refuses to acknowledge that she and I share anything.
I guess we were divorced in Dec. Today was to discuss custody, support, and alimony b/c of my new job and the impact on that. What's frustrating about a lot of the $$$ she wants, is that half her appts were to discuss her wanting more $$$, and the other half re: stuff like our visitation that I would go over 5 or 6 times due to her memory problems (she is 70 I found out).
Just to complicate things further, X has stopped paying child support/alimony. He was paying the 1st and 15th, and hasn't now since the 1st. I sent 2 emails, and he sent no reply. I won't email him anymore. I was hoping to use that check to help pay for the L. Oh, well. Even with all the cr** he pulls, I'm still happier now than I was with him the last couple years....
Work's going fine. Looking forward to doing theatre (backstage) in April.
X sent me half a dozen angry emails the day after the divorce hearing (Tuesday). I replied to 2 of them, and ignored the others.
Wouldn't he be in contempt of court since he just stopping paying you?? I would make sure you had his pay garnished since Mr Control will keep playing these sort of gmes with you. He makes me sick and I am sooo tired of him. I am sure it is worse on your end.
Is the job still going well? I know it isn't what you want to be doing but for now, it is good enough. Drop me a note when you can. I did put my cell back on FB if you want to call.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Wow. I thought that I had a bad L during my first D. I would immediately seek some other legal counsel. You may be able to get back some of the fees you've paid to your L. It definitely seems at the very least unethical to bring up fees minutes before your hearing and threaten to lessen her arguments. Look into filing something with the bar association. If you get other advise, you may be able to do damage control before any rulings are made. If you don't and the judge makes a ruling, it's very hard to overturn it should it not be favorable to you.
As for getting info about your kids, don't rely on your ex to supply you with that. He's already shown that he won't help you co-parent. Meet with the teachers. Demand that the school send you exactly the same informationt that they are sharing with him. They cannot legally withhold it. If your school uses a computer grading system, you should be able to get a log in for it too.
Congratulations on the D...even if you didn't know.
Thanks! I do think I might file something with the Bar after the D is done. Although I'm guessing it's going to be my word against hers, and I'm sure she'll say I misunderstood. Right. Plus, she is retiring in a few months, so doubt she would care if she was suspended or whatever, maybe they might just recommend she retire asap, which maybe would be a good thing, for others in my town at least.
I cried half hour in my Sunday School class today. They are very supportive, and we seem to do a lot of sharing our pain/crying in there, not just me, but others too. So it was good. I am very proud I've held it together this week, and not cried or acted sad once with the kids. I didn't say a word about their dad not paying the child support/alimony. Church was a good place to be today. Then did a play date at the park with one of D10's friends.
Finally some good news. My wonderful brother, who shouldn't have to, but did agree to pay my lawyer's fees. She emailed X's L about the custody threatening to file contempt of court on X right around the time the judge would be deciding the case. He emailed my L back that he had paid the first payment in the month early (yeah, he's the thoughtful kind), so his next payment would be this Friday (he's supposed to pay biweekly but has been paying the 1st and 15th of the month for the past year). If that was true, why wouldn't he have emailed me that the 2 times when I emailed him this past week????
So my L is apparently going to do a good effort on the closing arguments, I guess. So glad she terrorized me for no reason like that 2 minutes before the hearing. I am positive I am going to be the happiest person EVER when this D is over!!!!!!
