This is a very difficult situation that happens all too often. This situation is the worst fear of any man and this fear goes back to prehistory.
Yep I would agree that your WW has really screwed up. You were not given a choice in this matter - it has been and still is all about her and her feelings.
The reality is a divorce will not remove the pain nor the life long interaction with WW and her OM. Realize that a divorce or will create the following:
1. Dividing the financial resources by CS and alimony that you and your kids are entitled. 2. OM will be your kids step dad for 50% of the time for the foreseeable future if WW decides to marry him. 3. All future events such graduations, weddings and future births will involve OM and the OC. 4. Everyone's lives will be entwined with each other - no way around it.
Whenever the time is right and you have made your decision- have a come to jesus meeting with om and WW with a mediator or priest or some 3rd party to discuss this mutual future for your children's sakes. Ask this OM what is his intentions with WW and your family and what can he bring to the table to support this family. Bring in the in-laws so they are involved.
I don't post here altho have been lurking for some time. My methods are more in your face since most OM are little more than cock roaches. I do hope and pray for you and your kids.
