Obviously I can't really know for sure what your H is like from just a few things you write here. I know quite a few people, however, who are very independent-minded and whom I would describe the way you describe your H. They don't need others to take care of the usual "needs." They do, however, need that person in their lives who "completes them" (Thanks, blackrook for this line from Jerry McQuire! )
They would be devastated at their loss should that person leave or die. A label for what that person does for them may not exist. But if you're the person who does that for them,...you're very special and can't be replaced.
Once again, I can't really know if this is what your H is all about. I would encourage you to talk with him about YOUR thoughts and YOUR feelings. Use "I" statements; describe your feelings but avoid saying anything that may hint at blaming him for your feelings; and DON'T tell him what he's thinking. Just talk with him about you and ask him for his thoughts. In a way, you'd be opening up, with him, the conversation that you are having here.
) 
