WAW Using God II

[25yearsmlc]

I'm pretty much with Kettrichan (Sp?) and think you'll look more wacky if you try to do something you can't do legally. As you say, there's no threat to the kids and you have even less leverage than Bond (Bond's OM is arguably unstable so maybe he'd have had a shot). AND yes, in theory, you could have this idiot as your kids step father, (NO we don't think that's going to happen!! But...it raises a good point...) so you may need to relax big time...

I don't think you have cause for a TRO b/c even in states that list "A" as grounds for div and where you could poss argue "spousal alienation" b/c of OM (and therefore you'd be suing him) the RO would not apply AND finally, her seeing him in a group of people wouldn't constitute that alienation anyhow. Make sense? She may also have thought she wasn't going too far b/c of the group they were in. (I.E., Not alone in a hotel, etc)...

You can totally ignore it, or you could express your feelings & say "That was very disappointing b/c our children have NO reason or be around him and that was at best, thoughtless," etc.... will that be seen as whining?

Perhaps. WHich isn't helpful. But maybe Puppy's argument (I think part of it anyhow) is that she'll see how seriously you take it then...OTOH, Are you better off controlling what you really can, i.e., spending your energy on YOU and GAL? I think so. But it's just my take... There's room for disagreement here.

What I KNOW is that a restraining order is harder to get than you realize and IF it gets out that you pursued one but were unsuccessful, you'll look weak AND powerless and worse. At least don't let her know you are researching this until you know if it's possible to get one....

Also they are hard to enforce and again you risk looking weaker, not stronger, if it's unenforceable. Be sure. IF you live in a state that ONLY cares about what is done in front of the kids, who presently know nothing of this, and your w may not even be with this OM anyhow...you risk a whole lot more.

Pick your battles carefully. Only you can assess whether this is one of those things you can't get past. IF it is, get knowledge for that is power and then act from an informed position. Make sense?

Sorry. I know it sucks -- if you let this IN and then go around in circles inside you , about what it all meant. My gut tells me it wasn't the biggie you are making it out to be BECAUSE there were others around, and she would not bring the kids there if she were planning an illicit "moment"...just my gut.

j-