She acknowledges that I did an awful lot in the marriage for her, in an "acts of service" way. You can't debate the legitimacy of how someone feels (feelings just are, they say at Retrouville) - and I could talk a lot about her background, how needy she is, that her needs were more than anyway could fulfill - all that stuff, doesn't matter now, because my point is - it makes me really, really sad that she was so sad. Let's strip away all the things that have happened - and just look at this - in the end, I love her, and I hate that she felt so empty, desperate, hurt. That even now she's been in such a miserable state.
I think you both have issues to work on. She, if she is/has been sad, empty, desperate, and hurt needs to work on that herself. One thing I've learned in this experience is that you can't rely on others or things (I was always thinking a new house would solve my problems). You have to make yourself happy and not look to a relationship or someone else to solve your problems, as your W seems to.
You need to detach, stop focusing on your wife, and focus on yourself, your music, your boys, etc. I don't think your W will be happy with anyone until or unless she works on her own issues. If she's truly a desperate, sad, empty person and doesn't work on that, I predict you will be happier without her....
