Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

Yeah, I agree. It is very hard to get the nuiances from texting. H will only talk on the phone when he wants to talk. He hardly ever picks up his phone when I call so I don't even bother anymore. If I need to, I'll send a text to call me. Not happy with that but dealing with it for now.

So, this weekend...well, I don't know, it just went ok. It was a little rocky. H called me (see, on his terms) when he was on his way over here. We were just talking about everything and it was fine until I made a comment about his "drunk text to me last night" (thursday night). He got all upset b/c he said it wasn't a drunk text and got all dramatic about how he takes back the text now, blah blah blah. OMG, sorry to offend you! Yeah, I know he got mad, but it's not like the past wouldn't vouche for that since that is the only time I seem to get middle of the night texts from him. So anyways, he finally got here and we were discussing what to do. H wanted to go see a movie, which I was totally excited about, but then we came to an impass on what to see. H wanted to see Shutter Island and I wanted to see Dear John. I only thought it was fair that since we saw that action flick that he wanted to see last time (From Paris with Love) that maybe I could pick this time. But really, what did I expect, H is so selffish - I already know this. It starts to rain so I just say lets stay in. Then H suggests this other action flick to rent on pay per view, ug, but then we finally settle on watching the new Star Trek (which I wanted to see too b/c I used to watch the old ones with my dad). It was a good movie - both H and I liked it. We snuggled on the cough together wich was nice.

So the negatives though, we went on the computer for a bit and he was looking at google maps and I made a comment about his white house (I had googled maps his place a bit ago just b/c I was curious where he lived - when we told me where he live, he just mentioned, but I want to see what it looked like of course). He got all defensive and said that he shouldn't have told me where he lives b/c now I'm stalking him. OMG, are you serious?! Other negative, when he got there, I noticed he password protected his phone (I noticed he did this last time we were together too). That is definitely not the way to build my trust and make me feel comfortable about everything. I didn't say anything, but I'm keeping it in the back of my head for now. Then right before we go to bed, H gets a text and texts back. I lean over to take a look and H gets up and says something about me snooping on him. I say something back about how he should have nothing to hide. Then he comes lays down next to me and says something like "If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be here". True, but still, his lack of transparency is making me very nervous.

Last note, he was saying that our little Valentine day outing got around at work. haha. So anyway, OW1 goes up to H and says with attitude "I heard you had a good v-day" and H said he said back, "Actually I did". haha, way to tell her! =P That's the one good thing that he seems like he is finally proud enough of me to admit being with me again. The fact that he was taking me to his work, which for him is his whole life now, speaks alot. But grr, I just don't know why OW1 is still here! She can find another minimum wage job in her hometown (esp where she is from it's know to be a party city and there are tons of bars where she can work out - why keep drving all the way out here & drag her S down, try to find a place to live for 3 days and someone to watch her S - it just doesn't make sense!!!) The only thing left for her here now is my H, and he (supposedly?) isn't giving her the time of day anymore. Go home and stay there!

So going back to us, H slept all morning again on Saturday. He finally got up after S's nap and we had lunch and then played with S for two hours until H had to leave for work. S had a lot of fun and was just all giggles. S seems like he is coming a round a little with having H around me, but he is still very possesive!

Last thing, I brought up the anniversary and he was up for doing something, but kind of had a whatever attitude when I asked him what he would like to do. So, not sure what to do yet. Maybe I'll hold off and see how the next week goes. It's honestly hard to plan anything in advance b/c you NEVER know where we are going to be. I always say how I could be marriaged again or divorced by tomorrow. Also to note, H is goes back to his therapist tomorrow, which will be his 1st time back since he told me about everything (the therapist is the one who told him he need to tell me everything in the first place, so it will be interesting to see what she says in all this now). Hopefully she can continue to guide H in the right direction! Praying for the best. It's just hard though. I have so much on my mind.