Crap - well that sucked - I sat in Starbucks staring out the window at the clouds thinking until I realized I was crying and had to leave.
Thinking about W's feelings.
Early in our relationship, we saw a movie called "What Dreams May Come" - sort of a metaphysical love story where the main character literally travels to Hell to save his wife. After we saw it, my W said, "That's how I feel about you." Yeah, the whole "I would go to the depths of Hell for you" kind of love. (Read the subtext here that, there is an element of codependent "saving" each other that's probably not healthy, but let's not address that for the moment.)
To feel that - and, from her perspective - not feel it back? And knowing that I felt it too, but somehow that didn't come across. And now where we are, what's been lost. How did we get here?
God, I'm still crying - where the hell did this come from all of a sudden?
