g, My xh has been gone for 10 years and I have been divorced almost 8 years. I feel at peace w/myself and the faith that I have about my situation has never left me. I knew that no matter what happened so long ago, I would be fine. If you will allow your friends and family to be there to support you, lift you up when you are down, you will be just fine. The void and the fear that you are speaking of will go away in time. Put your faith in God and allow him to do his work on both you and your wife.
As I always say here, you have nothing to fear but fear itself. Turn your fear over to God and allow him to help you carry your burden. BTW, in time, you will find plenty to keep you busy, i.e., winter tends to get everyone down, but spring is around the corner and there will be plenty that you can do in the evenings.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
