Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[flowmom]

I have been losing weight but so slowly lately...am going to amp it up and plan to lose 10 pounds by March 19, my b-day!

newmama, try for something sustainable like 1 lb per week. we want changes that are permanent.

[newmama]

Flow, I understand your concern but I have almost 40 more pounds to lose. My plan is to :
lose a big chunk quickly, then slow down, then lose another chunk and when I have 10 pounds to go I can lose .5 per week or nothing until it comes off....it might take 2 or 3 months to lose the last 10, but I will be practicing maintaining my weight.
I know it sounds weird but actually
I read that losing weight in a "step" fashion (lose some, maintain that loss for awhile, then lose some more) helps to keep it off! The only reason I gained again was because I got pregnant!

So don't worry...I want to be a "hotmama" forever once this comes off! (my bod at least)

[flowmom]

That makes sense newmama.

[mindfull]

Newmama - Charmer and Professor, although the Charmer has been on the back burner so long, she forgot how to charm! And, the Professor label is slightly off, but the closest. I put more on my thread...

[newmama]

Lotus said this:

Love is a verb, it requires loving actions. The more you do loving actions for the person you choose to love, the easier it is to feel the love.

I have heard this before...so it means I should be letting my WH do acts of service for me?

The thing is I could not just pick a guy off the street and choose to love him. So that is why "the choice" to love is kind of baffling.I think there are some other components involved. BUT the committment to loving someone is something I can totally buy~!

[WhatNow]

Love discussing love.. Helen Fisher (Why We Love) has narrowed love down to brain chemistry. Initial "in love" feelings (and brain chemicals that use the same receptors as cocaine!) last 18 months to 3 years, longer if there are barriers in the way of that love. Fisher then goes on to describe how love becomes warm and dependable, and attachment occurs or love dies. Her book is not about affairs, but is a good explanation of what we are all going through.

[newmama]

Initial "in love" feelings (and brain chemicals that use the same receptors as cocaine!) last 18 months to 3 years, longer if there are barriers in the way of that love

great. So my WH and the slut are going to be going strong due to the barriers in their life.

[newmama]

ok update...
WH picked up S on Friday night. I was not feeling that great. He took his time leaving, I think he thinks it will help me if I get to hang out with him a long time before he takes him. IT DOESN'T!

So I kept saying 'okay, bye! see you tomorrow cuddlebug! Ok see you later! Bye!'

and I think WH noticed, haha! I don't care what he thought but he finally just took him and left. You see the sooner they go, the sooner my baby comes back. And it is also like ripping off a bandaid!

So I just stayed in, talked to my friends on the phone, drank too much wine. The next morning I did laundry, worked out, cleaned up. I decided to "plant" one of my new pairs of panties where WH would see them...so I dropped it on the floor in the hall, like it fell out of the basket!

And then I played my Super Mario Bros and left it on so WH would see it when he dropped off S.

Sure enough, when I came downstairs from my shower, I saw the underwear was not there anymore- he tossed them into the laundry room! So he did see them and was forced to think of me, haha!

Then I explained about the wii and was so glad that I took this long to tell him so that it didn't come across as me trying to get his attention. It was me sharing a new hobby that my girlfriend exposed me to! And truthfully, now that S will take longer naps, I have time to play it!

So then we rushed out the door to visit my mom. WH helped put S in the car. It was a really nice day! For some reason, these really nice days just make me want WH back even more.

My friend that I talked to on the phone on Fri night admitted she thought WH would have filed for D by now. She said she is now believing that he isn't so sure and there is hope for reconciliation!

And our tax return came in. So if money was the reason why he hasn't filed, we will see!

I plan to be busy today (no problem trying) and then on Wed when he spends the day here, I plan to be present mostly and maybe even suggest another outing together. Don't know yet.

[WhatNow]

Initial "in love" feelings (and brain chemicals that use the same receptors as cocaine!) last 18 months to 3 years, longer if there are barriers in the way of that love

great. So my WH and the slut are going to be going strong due to the barriers in their life.

According to Helen Fisher, Yeah. Which is where the idea of going dark and leaving them too it speeds its end, comes from, I think. When the dopamine stops influencing them, they are left with feelings of attachment...for the LBS! Not sure if I have this right but it is close. I'll bet Allen can explain it better.

Love the panty-droppage!!!! LOL

[newmama]

I am sure those who are "anti bo peep" stay far away from my thread! :-)
Pretty sure Allen is one of them!

LRT in my case will result in Divorce. I am 99% sure. So that is why unless or until I want a divorce I just won't risk it!

But when there are barriers in a relationship that include one partner who hasn't divorced yet and is staying in contact with their spouse, as well as their child, that just can't make for a harmonious relationship! Maybe a lot of S&M in the bedroom, barf!

and thanks for kudos for the panty droppage! My friend said "plant a pair in S' diaper bag when he goes overnight, haha!"

I was thinking of putting a pair under the seat in his car!

No...must be subtle.