Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[antlers]

Antlers,
I can hear you are really sad & frustrated with the fact that your marriage is over & the ending of it appears to be an all out war.

"YEAH, I AM SAD ABOUT IT. YEP, IT HAS BECOME A WAR...A WAR OF ATTRITION."

War has casualties, it also has survivors.

"I KNOW. WE'LL SURVIVE THIS. I JUST HATE IT THAT I DIDN'T MAKE MY CHANGES IN TIME."

Try reframing this

My children are innocent victims, casualities. I will be a casualty also.

to this

My children are innocent of causing this war. I own my part in causing it and trying to prevent it. Regardless, we will all be survivors.

"I DO OWN MY PART IN CAUSING IT AND TRYING TO PREVENT IT."

I copied this off another DB'er's thread yesterday because it spoke to me at a time I was looking for hope.
I share it with you to hopefully pass some along to you

Roses
Its madness to hate all roses because you got scratched with one thorn..
To give up on your dreams because one didn’t come true...
To lose faith in prayers because one was not answered...
To give up on your efforts because one of them failed…
To condemn all of your friends because one betrayed you…
To not believe in love because someone was unfaithful or didn’t love you back…

To throw away all of your chances to be happy because you did not succeed on the first attempt.

A new friend, a new love, a new life… never give up because life is indeed beautiful.

"I KNOW. I CAN'T DENY THE FACT THAT I STILL FEEL THE WAY I DO ABOUT HER THOUGH. I FEEL BAD FOR HAVING MESSED UP LIKE I DID. I FEEL GREAT FOR MAKING THE CHANGES THAT I DID. WISH I HAD MADE THEM SOONER."
=====
You can handle it.
Peace
Bridge