Neither of you are in my particular situation, dealing with the issues in the here and now. Apologies for my inability to articulate the complete dynamics of the situation effectively. I am NOT looking for pity.
Where was I when the kids were unattended? Coming home from grocery shopping once, and coming home from work another time.
Wife does not pick up after herself, does not clean up her messes, leaves Q-tips with nastiness on them on the furniture for days, and leaves food out for days. I used to clean up after her, then was told doing so was only a facilitating behavior and that she needs to pick up after herself (i.e., I should not feel responsible for cleaning/picking up after her). After years of this behavior, I've quit trying to clean up after her--it is not my responsibility. You tell me who is the "submissive slave" here.
Wife is in school fulltime, has half days twice a week where she goes to pursue a hobby of hers and comes home at 7:00 those nights. If I didn't cook dinner those nights, we'd eat at 8:00 (kids' bedtime). She gets out of school at NOON! On weekends, I facilitate her behavior by watching the kids while she participates in her hobby. She's been gone all weekend so far. You tell me... just how much time is reasonable for a spouse to dedicate to a hobby outside the home? I have hobbies, but time away from the family is nil (they're asleep or still at school while I'm at the gym).
Not looking for pity, just used the forum to vent. Sorry you don't understand or appreciate my situation. Sorry you don't understand the feeling of possibly giving up the one shot you had to make things work, while your spouse does everything he/she can to further alienate you from wanting to continue the marriage. I have given this woman my best years, put her through school, and paid for her daughter's expenses since we married. That is not necessarily a problem, but the point is that I have sacrificed greatly for this woman only to be unappreciated and outright disrespected.
