Even if it goes as far as a divorce..it's still not too late..never say die unless he remarries or you move on completely; then it's truly finished. That's my two cents for what it's worth. That was meant to be encouraging; the working on you is a never ending story..we grow throughout our lives; never completing that until we take our last breath on this earth. Better to get it late, than never.
When you're watching his behavior as a "rock star", think like a kid/teen..what do you see? I saw the teenager right off the bat as I read. He's trying to get close to his children, too.
I had to relearn, for awhile, to stop seeing this through the eyes of an adult, and see some of this through the eyes of a teen...and boy, did I get an eyeful...I listened and paid attention to what I hearing/seeing. It's something else to see a grown man act like a teen. I've had the thought of you putting the adult you on hold, finding the teenager within and beginning to flirt with him, attempting to draw him back..just to see if it will work. He's going to be suspicious at first at this type of change..but be consistent with it; remember how you got together with him in the beginning? Something to think about. I might be WAY off base here or overstepping my bounds...hit ME with a 2x4 if that's the case.
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Anyway, I chose not to go up and see S11, because I didn't want to see H when he was like that----and I'm sure H didn't want to see me. It was good for me----because it is SO hard to see H with that anger in his eyes...........
You're trying to "read his mind" and you can't do that..how do you know your husband didn't want to see you? The only way you're going to try any type of damage repair..that is, IF you want to try, is to face his anger; which you will most likely STILL see on 03/02; unless he's forgotten it...and they change so much in moods, etc from day to day..I'm surprised they even remember anything. But, and I don't want to sound harsh; we have to face consequences for what we do in this life....and if you caused his anger, face it, see where you did anything wrong, apologize if an apology is necessary...and go on as there would be nothing else you could do.
There was a time, I remember angering my husband more than once...confronting him about the OW he lied about, but on this particular time, he sat down hard at the table and stared out the window demanding that I leave him alone...I simply said I was sorry he was angry and left the room..gave him space for awhile. It took him awhile to get past it; but I took the brunt of it; because I knew I'd caused it through my own actions. But it passed, after I faced what I'd done.
Food for thought
In the meantime, learn yourself, learn what you need to do to change, continue working on yourself.
Gotta run.
Let me know if I'm off base, here..I don't wish to overstep my bounds...you have NOTHING to lose by trying what I'm suggesting...you seem to think you've lost it all anyway. And I'm really sorry for that.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
