l.t., You will know when the time is right to talk to your h. I think what is happening is that he is coming around, doing things for you and you are frustrated that he's not making a firm and final move home. Keep in mind, they go through a period of wanting to do things for you, as this is a way of reconnecting to you. They do tend to "inch" along before they make the move to want to reconcile.
As for setting timelines, boundaries, etc., please keep this mind...yes, you can set all of them in your mind, but if you set them w/him, you need to stand by them and not back down. If you do back down, they will know that you do not mean to follow through on them. They will test you if you become wishy washy w/the boundaries, etc. Also, be prepared for the fact that he may react in a negative way to boundaries, etc., and you will not get the reaction/response that you had hoped for.
Again, you will know when the time is right...the window of opportunity will open up for you to broach the subjects that you wish to discuss and put into place.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
