Thx cutterbug. i never realized the difference between privacy or secrecy or at least never thought of it that way. I don't know why my self-esteem is so low that I am worried about him forgiving me...its crazy when I think about it or see someone phrase the question to me that way. I am definitely going to an IC when I get back to homestate. I really liked the counselor that husband and I met with prior to getting married so I am going to schedule an appointment with her. I need to get my "swagger" back...lol. seriously, here I am feeling bad for doing something to someone who has repeatedly shown no respect for me. Yes I want my marriage but if I remove my own LBS fog it is really husband who should be crawling back and begging me to work on things. That is the confusing thing about DB and the hard part about me detaching...the point of DB is to stop the divorce but the person who has been wronged is the one in charge of doing that.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo