Vacillating husband

[flowmom]

RNM, it sounds like he's still trying to invade your privacy, and that when he thinks you're doing that, he's projecting. Remember to leave the room every time he talks about the R. You are letting him scream at him about R stuff when you need to be showing him the self-respect that you have by promptly leaving.

If the topic comes up about salvaging/rebuilding, say something like "it's too late for that, our M is over and the only way we could be married is if you broke all contact with OW and we started back from zero and it doesn't look like you want to do that". That gets around the guilt/A being dealbreaker isssue.

If he's hesitating about the D, it may be more based on finances than wanting to reconcile. You are looking for him breaking things off with OW at this point.

Good luck and hang in there. It sounds like you're confident taking the WAW stance, and I think your confidence will help you a lot as you are DBing. Just remember the 180s...if you are doing stuff that he's complained about in the past, then you're not doing the 180s that make him think that you've changed.