I was sad to read about your dad. I am sorry. And I cant even imagine how hard it is -and unfair- for a child to resume a grown ups' role. You much be proud of yourself.
So, your H's will be forced to a decision due to his living arrangements? The only thing I can say to you which you already know is that he has to stop it with OW before he moves back in. Me and H tried the reconciliation for a year while he was going back and forth (I didnt know). It "broke me" and caused unnecessary pain, not to mention if damaged our R even more.
You sound strong, I can now understand how come you are so mature for your age. Hugs K
