I don't think anybody will debate a R *can* enhance life and be a very special thing. The problem I have is you really haven't done much growing or changing for the better (yet) and you are already looking ahead to the next R. You only stopped pestering your STBX, what, a week ago? Now that you have some legal barricades that sort of force you to stop that pursuing and negative behavior towards your STBX you are moving on to the next R. IMO something FOR YOU should be happening in between. You have some self improvement and maturity to gain and most importantly, you need to be able to self soothe and be happy all on your own.
As far as your STBX living with her dad, well, that might not be a permanent arrangement so don't bother listing all the negatives. If she is suing you for full custody there is a good chance that suit will also involve a demand for monthly support of some kind. Your STBX very well might be making a move once she figures out the logistics of monthly support.
Legally you have NO recourse against your STBX regarding the OM so she sits in a very good position. You were not married to her and it doesn't even sound like you were together long enough to be considered "common law" spouses. Chances are the courts will ONLY consider the fact the two of you share a minor child. And, while your STBX is not without fault, "on paper" your pursuing and crazy behavior can easily be documented. Her transgressions are not exactly transgressions in the eyes of the law as the two of you are not married. In fact, your STBX could easily have her boyfriend be a witness of the night you stormed over there.
I suggest you change your stance because right now, this *very* much could be about you having to defend yourself. Your daughter is going through enough right now and even if you keep the new person in your life separate from your daughter you are still taking away mental energy as you seem very needy for a R.
Right now your ONLY focus should be on the R you have with yourself, your daughter and learning how to co-parent with your STBX.
Every single time something is pointed out to you or suggested to you, you come back and say "well, its not like I am a predator" or something else extreme. Nobody said you were a predator. What we are saying is perhaps you are not making the best choices at this time no matter what your desires or needs are.
