Yes, love, enduring love, is a decision. Not the passion that sweeps us off our feet and dumps us 6 months later, but the love that endures like burning embers. That is a decision. And each person does decide who to love. So, it helps if we seem lovable. That is, not critical and demanding (I know, it's hard, I have trouble with that too.) And interesting, and fun to be with. It helps if we seem concerned about our spouses welfare (yes, this can be faked until it seems natural.) Love is a verb, it requires loving actions. The more you do loving actions for the person you choose to love, the easier it is to feel the love. You know, because you have a baby, and you do loving actions for him or her every day. And you feel love for the baby. But with adults, it is easy to forget to do the loving actions because they don't seem to need us.
