I want to build a new, strong, adult marriage with you. To that end I am asking you to go to marriage counseling with me. You told me in November that our marriage is over. But I think such a permanent decision deserves honest evaluation of why it should end, what that does to each of us and our sons. I am willing to do everything in my power to do what is best for them and for myself.
I like this nugget. This is the crux of what you should say to him now. No more. Ask him to go to counseling. Do not demand the end of OW yet. ONE STEP AT A TIME. Get to counseling. OW will be discussed there. Then you will have the backing of the pastor or therapist to ASK him to drop OW. Yes, not demand.
My advice is, go get a nice card, something sweet, like to little kids kissing, with nothing on the inside, and put this, JUST THIS, inside it and sign your name.
And when he comes home, be happy to see him. Like the women welcoming their husbands home from war in the movies. Don't let him come home to a she-wolf who is about to devour him. You have a lot to make up for. You will not make up for it with words, only with CONSISTENT actions. So get nice, and stay nice.
