Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

Thanks for stopping in june72. I appreciate your support. I agree. He is very misguided and out of control which is fueling his anger.

This past week I've concentrated quite a bit on what is best for our kids. They need a relationship with their dad and I need to help it work no matter how I feel towards him. I've really changed my focus.

I wrote H a response to a nasty email from him and took my time with making sure I was detached and business-like polite--only focused on what is best for the kids again. Voila... no angry, nasty response from him. I even got him to give in to a request he had vehemently denied earlier in the week to bring the kids home a couple hours earlier. I simply responded thanks. Not taking it as any more than it really is. Don't think it's a baby step... won't fool myself.

Then last night before he picked up the kids, I sent him an email detailing info he needed for taking D13 to the Science Fair competition. I wanted to make sure it went smoothly especially since he has NO CLUE on what to do for extracurricular activities with them. Another nice surprise, H sent me a picture message and TM letting me know that D13 was all set up and she would have lunch taken care of. I'm debating on whether to respond a short thanks to that. Guess it would be the right thing to do. ??

Went for a run with a friend this am downtown. Gorgeous weather, fabulous run, love this time of year here. We stopped for breakfast afterward and I run into H's running partner/employee and family. Very uncomfortable for me. But I know he knows about the A and I was in my running gear and with a GIRL friend, smiling and enjoying myself. So showed I'm fine, moving on and GAL. It was still hard though.

Feeling stronger and oh so happy not to be dealing with the meanness for the past few days. But, won't let down my guard. Just learning how to diffuse his anger. Helping his R with the kids seems to do it. Probably I won't get others to agree with me on that, but in the end the benefit is for the kids.