You are young, and your children are very young. For years while I debated what to do about the marriage I was not very happy about, I read the Dear Abby column in the newspaper. The advice that Ann Landers gave was always consistent. Decide if you are better off with him or without him, and let that be your decision. I fear that if you give him an ultimatum at this time, he will use it to hasten a divorce. But I don't think a divorce is what you want. So, my advice, which I know goes against the hard line a lot of people on this site give, is to not say it unless you think you can support yourself and 3 kids. It sounds like your H is not mean to you, he just has OW on the side and she is far away, and he has few opportunities to see her. You are sitting in his home with his 3 children. So you have the stronger position, but not his love. But love has a habit of coming and going. Read DR again. I doubt you will find ultimatum giving in the book.
