Cyborg, I'm very sorry for your pain, and it's a wonderful thing that you've found this community.
One of my closest family friends has bipolar depression, and what you've described is all to familiar to me (and to my friend's family). My H suffers from depression (though not of the bipolar variety), so I have had some experience with that, too. What I know for certain is that you can't reason with an unreasonable person (please understand I don't mean "unreasonable" in an unkind way). Emotions aren't rational. This is especially true when a person has not been taking his/her medication (like your W and my H). I'm a thinker and a reasoner, and it's gotten me nowhere with my H during the period of our separation. My friend's family was also unable to reason with her, no matter how powerful, valid or true the words were.
Reread the "Dealing with the Depressed Spouse" chapter in the DR book. Also reread the "Experiment and Monitor Results" chapter. That's one I go back to often. As for your meeting today, it might be best just to sit, listen, and validate her feelings. A decision does NOT have to come out of your meeting today, and you don't have to commit to anything right there on the spot.
