Looking for help with WAW

[sandi2]

I'm sure she is still angry and you need to expect that. Please do not go to the meeting with the idea that she is going to be sweet and fair about dividing anthing. She probably is keeping the anger fueled to make her feel stronger in her resolve (but IDK).

Here's the thing, you have only been at this for a couple of months. You had your awakening, and now you just cannot understand why she doesn't give you another chance. She felt that she was giving you several chances before she finally gave up and left. That is how the usual WAW thinks about the H. She sees the M over and she is done. You keep expecting her to change her feelings and you even said enough that I know you think after this meeting and things are divided up that she is suddenly going to act differently. I think, you used the word "relaxed" but I believe in your heart you are looking for more than that. I wish you would not set yourself up for a letdown.

Anyway, here is my advice about the meeting. Do not say any of those things you have already told her, such as this:

It upsets me that she left without being mature ebough to talk to me first. In one of the last emails I sent her I asked her if she could be 100 percent sure she wouldn't feel differently in a year. I asked her how could she be certain. In that case why not continue with being apart for 6 months with NC and then try to talk. I don't understand what she has to lose? After 19 years together why not be sure first? I know she feels sure right now but no one can predict the future.

If you start on this again, things will not go well. But if you act confident, kind, strong and honorable....then I believe things will go a lot better. It will be very, very hard, but do not use this meeting as a time for R talk. I think that is why she wants her father present b/c she knows you well enough that she's expecting you to pressure her about going back to you. Why not surprise her and don't be that man she expects to see.