Thanks Eryn- Welcome and thank you for caring enough to post about my situation.

He is doing great with wanting to see the kids and you are right I should tell him that- at some point.

He says he will do whatever he can to make this easier on me and the kids, he says he will come stay with them for 2 weeks if that is what I need. Problem is he lies, a lot. It's hard to know when he is being sincere, or just saying what he thinks I want to hear, or saying what will make him feel better.
Another problem I have is I feel I've lived a lie and I don't know how to communicate with this person. right now I am too angry and want little contact with him, it makes this so much easier.

He wants us to be friends. I do not have friends who treat me this way. I understand we have children to raise together and I will communicate with him about the kids. I am having a very hard time not building resentment towards him. When my son cries for him our our D lashes out because of him, I just think, "I hate you for this."

I am probably doing all the wrong things now and I will get the book, you all recommend DR? I can't help but feel I am done though. perhaps it is anger talking. I am GAL, not talking about R, not really giving him the time of day, which I don't know if that is wrong or not? I am seeing an IC and finally am making these changes for me and not for what he will see them to be. I can honestly say that and have for the past week. I just feel different. Maybe it's my anger? Maybe I know I do not deserve to be treated this way. I also want to teach my kids that it is not okay to allow people to treat them this way.



Here's what I do knw....I want my family to not be in crisis. Not sure what to do to get us out of that?? I am happy that there is aplace such as this, where perfect strangers will take the time to listen to my crazy thoughts and care about my sitch. It makes me cry everythime I see a post and I know there is some good in this world I am living in right now!

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.