When I read the depressed hypothesis laid out by some people, I can not really comment because I have no experience in the matter (happily). You are the best judge of what your husband is going through. I heard a dr. on Larry King say that Tiger looked depressed yesterday...i did not notice. Since you are not buying it I will take your word for it. Simply put, his inability to move is one of three things. As you stated, he loves you but is not in love with you. He is getting his love somewhere else. He has a physical condition that does not permit him to pursue you (ok the last one is pretty vague but it is the best I can do this morning). What is painfully apparent is that you are not happy. I have not read many books and have had limited experience with piecing. I can't think of any moment since his return that you actually described as happy or joyous or amourous. Caring yes. That is probably what your C saw as well when she asked why are you sticking around....even if you were seperated or divorced what would you lose (other than finances potentially). Please remember Maria that the picture we see is the one you paint for us...your view of your life. It lacks .... colour. Vivid, vibrant colours. You will have to add those colours and not expect your H to supply them for you. If the tendancy is maintained, not in the near future anyway.
You lived with H pre bomb and now have been piecing for a while. You have a councellor who although does not know H (who is probably forming an opinion according to what you describe) telling you what you see is what you get. At this point I echo Kerry's sentiments which are probably indicative of many others here....your H is who he is and you know what he brings to the table....you and only you know if that is what you want going forward. I am sure that some folks here would give their right arm to be in piecing...you are where we have all aspired to be....myself included. I came to a realization as you well know. I could not live with what was presented to me....I gave up alot....today I am rebuilding slowly....I am slowly rebuilding John.....
Angelo a buddy of mine who has gone through some tough times (like we all have) once told me something that I laughed off at the time (I usually laugh off most of what he says). He told me that happiness is ALL about expectations. The higher your expectations, the higher the chance of being disappointed. Makes sense if you think about it....
