crushed, what do you do after the A

[pearlharbr]

Have you done the exercises in After the Affair? We set up a weekly meeting to go over the exercises and talk about any other R stuff that needed discussion. I think it helped that BF was still living in his own apt when we first started piecing. That way we were able to ease back into being a couple and each had our own space and time. Yes, I did still have plenty of outbursts when something would trigger me. BF was great about just letting it happen and understanding that he would have to deal with it for as long as it takes. I think there's something in NJF about this too.

Bottom line, yes, it would be ideal to keep all R talk to scheduled times now but your SO needs to be understanding that you're going to have unscheduled meltdowns too.

You're right on, self-care does make better parents. Remember that your kids are watching you and learning from your behavior all the time. Model for them what a healthy adult and parent should look like.

Make it a goal to do some GAL activity every day next week. Even if it's just taking a few minutes to listen to your favorite song it will show you that you can find the time and how much happier you are when you do.