Getting Ready For Divorce

[crushed_v95]

O.K.... this forum is becoming a real lifeline... so much so that my posting frequency here is a bit disturbing; but, you all are the only support I've found.

I'm going to spill some more simply because it has to do with the situation this evening, and some changes which have taken place. I find it both amusing and sad and amazing, all at the same time.

Last fall (between August and October) I noticed something very different about wife. She actually seduced me one night -- something that has never happened since before we were married, fifteen years earlier. In the afterglow she started talking about her new boss.

Her new boss is a man I've never met and don't care about, but from her tone and content, and the strange goings on, and dozens of other hints, I knew they had probably been intimate. She was training this man at his job and he was shadowing her trying to learn the ropes.

For the next few months she got progressively colder toward me. I started hiding out in the guest bedroom and letting her take complete control of the house. Her mom stepped in to handle the kids. I was very depressed, crushed, etc.

It was her custom to spend Friday evenings with this man, among other people from her place of employment. It became part of our lives. She would be out late Fridays. I learned to simply deal with it.

Twice, in October and in early December, I let on that I knew she was spending time with him. Rather than her usual schtick she got incredibly defensive, flipped out, and lost control. This simply bolstered my suspicions. I wasn't convinced that they had been having a physical affair (and am not today) and don't care to find evidence, but in my mind I believe it is happening.

Friday evenings were very difficult for me since. I generally isolated myself in the guest room and cried about life. I'm coming to realize how easy it has been for my wife to despise me. I have no self-respect.

Our fifteenth anniversary was a Thursday. She made a point to stay out late for it. On Friday she stayed out extra late. I went downstairs to see her poured into bed, at midnight. I'm sure she expected me to cry and grovel and beg. She probably would have "taken me back" at that point. That's been our skit.

I didn't.

"Do you think we could work on our divorce at some point?" I asked.

Drunk, she replied "yeah, I've been busy, sorry,", then farted, rolled over, and pretended to fall asleep.

I think that was the point I hit rock bottom; but I didn't cry.

The next morning I cried. She sneered. I begged. She scoffed. Finally I asked her why she hadn't filed yet. It had been three weeks.

"I've been busy, and it overwhelms me to think about it, I need you to help me, I apologize..."

That was the only apology I got from her, ever... an apology for not divorcing me.

The next week I found the DR book. I read it, offered it to her. She despised me for it.

That was two weeks ago.

One week ago I had my fortieth birthday. I also, finally, de-lurked here and got some good advice.

I went dark.

Every Friday it is her custom to go out and schtup her boss, to bury her face in his nether regions until his toes curl and he screams... Then she gets to come home and chuckle at her husband who sits in the guest room and takes care of the kids.

This Friday my son and I went out directly after school. We had a great time. I taught him to drive my car in an undeveloped part of town. It was probably the high point of his 13 years.

We got pizzas, sodas and ice cream.

Daughter had gone to grandma's. Grandma is wife's confidant and co-conspirator. Grandma was supposed to bring daughter home well before dinner time, but didn't. We called daughter once.

"We're doing something special," said son. "Come home and eat dinner".

"Grandma will bring me home in a bit," she said.

Grandma apparently called mom/wife, because daughter called back again.

"Mom's picking me up,"

It was a candlelight dinner. Three places were set, not four. Tonight it was wife who was left out of the fun, though she rushed home curious at the new development.

Dad is out of his room. He took his wedding ring off today. He no longer cares what Mom does on Friday nights.

Curiously, mom seems to care, at least a little bit, about the new developments.

I didn't look at her, didn't acknowledge her presence. She tried to interrupt us. I told daughter to sit and do her chores after our family dinner. The emphasis is on family... and there are three people in my family now.

Wife preened, walked back and forth in front of me, loudly talked to her dog, then finally went downstairs to sulk.