Well done, if his pattern has been to cool off quickly that is going to be a definite button for you. Of course you are going to begin to panic if he suddenly seems to back off. And, some men are emotionally dumb sometimes, esp. the WAS ones (no offense LBS guys) and having peace and quiet just feels good to them and they don't realize how it can hurt the other person.
Perhaps you can at some point have a talk about this button. If he can acknowledge that you're responding to a past pattern, perhaps he would be willing to agree to a regular text or phone schedule to reassure you? I know RW has been getting a lot of comfort from her returned spouse when she gets triggered about all the stuff from him leaving (OW), and I know LR is also struggling with her insecurities from H leaving (money), and there is hope that once they've committed they can be reassuring and kind.
So sorry about your kitty. One of the most painful things I had to do was put one of my cats down. I felt so guilty I had my boyfriend at the time drop him off and pick up the body. Couldn't handle the grief. My other cat is 17 now and puking and peeing at random, but still hanging in there. I will hope you can get through this ok. Always helps to get a new kitten right away too. That was the only way I could stop crying every day!
