Game Point

[tryingtilDorR]

I am starting a new thread since my situation is transitioning. The title Game Point reflects where we are - at a decision point. I feel like we will start moving towards D or WAW will miraculously wake up and decide to change course (highly unlikely).

In a short time I will be moving over to Surviving the Big D or Peicing depending upon which way the situation breaks.

Why is it different now after all this time of limbo? Because I feel like I am ready to file for D and get that clock started. The pain of being with the WAW with her coldness and relationship with OM becomes worse than moving on.

Us LBSs live in fear of losing WAW, breaking up our family, turning our financial situation on its head, all for good reason. We finally reach a point where we say it is time to move on. Enough deception. Enough humiliation from WAW's relationship with OM. Enough of going through life with someone who treats you worse than a roommate or someone she would meet on the street.

I have changed for the better. Our M wasn't that bad but it could have been better and I have told her on numerous occasiosn that I take responsibility for my half of the problelms and want to try again. WAW knows I have changed. WAW knows I am ready to start over on a new M but she hasn't shown ANY interest in this in over a year. It is time to move on.

Specific actions recently are that I told her it is time to dump OM and start working on M or we need to D. She says she was headed towards the latter and we have our 2nd mediation appt Monday, where CS figures will be discussed. At that point it is decision time. If she won't make a decision, then I will have to.

If we split she will be a miserable basket case. Not because she wants to stay married to me but because she doesn't want to be apart from our children. It will not be a good thing for her even though she thinks ending her marriage is the only way for her to be happy. It is ironic that the implications of this decision will actually make her more miserable than she already is. I fear that she will start down a path of self-destructive behavior as a result.

My kids will be sad also. We will likely have to sell the family home, although I will try to find a way to keep it. However, whenever I feel sorry for myself or my kids I realize that 1000s of people go through this every year and my family is just one more in that sad statistic.