Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Sandi or Greek- if you are out there or someone can find you, would really like your take on a couple of things, from the WAS perspective.

Despite a DB slipup with badgering, I was told an interesting piece of data last night (assuming it is true). W tells me that we are really good at being friends, at being very good friends, at talking about work, the kids, and day to day stuff. But, W then says we don't have deep converstations and that she doesn't have deep conversations with anyone. When I asked her to define deep, she used words like emotions, feelings and future plans. She also tells me we don't have those deep conversations because she feels no connection with me.

So, is it time to try to have a little deeper conversation or is it time to back off and give more space (I do know well enough to stay far away from the future plans)? We have been getting along extremely well, a couple bricks from the wall came down, I think some but probably not all went back up yesterday. One idea is to talk to W about how hard it is for me to play the happy couple in all these social events, especially now that I learn she is scheduling another one for us...

Second question - was this just a pullback you think - things started going better, we are really getting along well, the massages, talk of another ski trip and then W realizes wait a second I need to pull back?

Update from today. There's nothing like exercise to help alleviate stress/tension. W and I went to gym together at lunch, at the beginning it was cold/tense between us, after a 1.5 mile run and an intense ab workout, back to being friendly. When we left, W asks if I need anything from the store - and she just happens to come back from trip to store at same time I'm returning and she walks up to me and hands me some food items that she found there that she knows I like and are hard to find. Friday night is movie/pizza night at the GW house and she tells me about the snacks she bought for the kids, and what she got for us for after they go to bed. So slowly getting back on the good friend track, thus why I think maybe not every brick was regenerated last night.

Last bit - I'm a little suprised no one has said something about the fact the internet wasn't working made her mad because she planned on contacting OM. I thought about that, but if W is still in contact with OM or OM2, it is deep undercover. I don't think she'd make that big of a deal of the internet if she was trying to go deep undercover. She knows darn well I might have told her I need to change some settings on her computer to get it to work right.