I'll post some now more when I get a chance to read more of your sitch.
Talking about the OP:
My wife has had 2 definites, a possible #3 and I think she is interested in #4. Some days it is difficult for me to think about. Others I realize that they are not getting my wife, but a very damaged person. She is looking for someone to give her that "in love" feeling. She confuses infatuation with love. After it wears off the relationship ends.
OM#1 was her boss. He got her pregnant. She had an abortion. She claimed at the time she left me that she loved both of us. Their R ended about a week or two after she left me. OM#1's current wife worked for him and he left his 1st wife for her.
OM#2 was an old friend of hers from grade school. She claimed he was her soulmate. This a mere 2 months after being "in love" with OM#1. This R lasted 4 months. She got pregnant. Had a miscarriage. OM#2 was in and out of jail.
Possible OM#3 I don't know if it ever went physical but I read a letter she wrote to him saying that he made her feel like no one else had before. Really? BTW she met this winner at a bar and he's married with 5 kids.
I think she now has "feelings" for another old friend that she just found on FB.
In short, each one is nothing to me.
I would lie if I said it didn't hurt in some way but I also understand the why's. I understand that depression makes her feel dead inside and the initial infatuation makes her feel alive again temporarily. I dig deeper for patience until the time comes that she realizes what love truly is and that's what we had.
It's funny. There are times that she does things that reflects that true love and she doesn't even realize it because her perception of love is skewed.
You never know what you truly can handle until you're actually put to the test.
