Wow. I thought that I had a bad L during my first D. I would immediately seek some other legal counsel. You may be able to get back some of the fees you've paid to your L. It definitely seems at the very least unethical to bring up fees minutes before your hearing and threaten to lessen her arguments. Look into filing something with the bar association. If you get other advise, you may be able to do damage control before any rulings are made. If you don't and the judge makes a ruling, it's very hard to overturn it should it not be favorable to you.
As for getting info about your kids, don't rely on your ex to supply you with that. He's already shown that he won't help you co-parent. Meet with the teachers. Demand that the school send you exactly the same informationt that they are sharing with him. They cannot legally withhold it. If your school uses a computer grading system, you should be able to get a log in for it too.
Congratulations on the D...even if you didn't know.
