Bond, You asked on my thread for me to take a look and see if I had any ideas. I haven't had the chance to read your recent sitch and if I'm confusing it with another, forgive me, but you wife still works with OM, correct?
If that's the case, I don't think you guys will ever stand a chance of making your marriage work because your wife will be in a constant state of her own "limbo". She'll never get through the WD of OM while she's working with/seeing/communicating in any way with OM.
My W was in severe WD for probably a month after she ended contact with OM. Even though I saw glimpses of my old W in there at times, it was almost a year after contact ended with OM that I began to really see changes in her. And probably another 3 months or so before she was willing to share with me what she was going through.
I commend you for trying it this way, but IMHO, as long as she works with/for OM, you don't stand a chance.
Again, if I'm confusing you with someone else, disregard this and I'll try to catch up when I have time.
H4U.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.