Well, you ARE acting crazy and you still are. And I don't want to hear that your ex started it or she is acting crazy too because you can't control her (even though you tried).
Had you actually followed the advice and began the legal framework for joint custody WEEKS ago as it was suggested to you instead of doing all the crap you were doing maybe you would not be in this position.
STOP trying to reason with this woman because all it does is make you appear more unstable. Now that papers have been initiated it is MUCH easier for her to make your behavior an issue as the law is now involved. So stop.
You say your ex is using your daughter as a pawn but SO ARE YOU. You are asking your ex to consider how your daughter will feel when she is 18. How about worrying how your daughter will feel RIGHT NOW?
You both had the power to stop this before it started (this custody issue) and you both chose not to until the sh*t hit the fan. And part of the reason the sh*t hit the fan was YOU. Stop. Right now.
Contact an attny, get a better C, get your child in C'ing and find out what you *can* do other than saying how disgusted you are and trying to talk to you ex.
You had some of the BEST people on this site spelling it ALL OUT for you and you chose not to do one thing that may have been a huge aid in avoiding this situation. It is beyond frustrating especially when you knew darn well if you continued on the path you CHOSE to stay on, your daughter could be at stake.
