thanks to all of you for the advice and thoughts. i am definitely working on making my own happiness. of course i'm happy when he calls, but when he doesn't i'm sad momentarily. i just miss his voice. i don't linger in the unhappiness of him not calling. doing the things that do make me happy, like my service trip, taking yoga, spending time with my girlfriends, those have all felt very good in the last month, so that's what i'm keeping my focus on. but i am also focused on DB-ing. obviously that means focusing on myself, but i'm also watching for signals to gauge what's working and what's not. if he's calling, i'm counting that as baby steps. if's he is telling me he loves me, i'm not necessarily setting myself up for dissappointment, but i'm using that as a sign that i'm doing the right things.

he did ask me to dinner tonight so we'll see how that goes. i'm not getting ahead of myself and i do know that he may indeed find that our M is not what he wants. i also know that while i'd be very sad about that, that i would ultimately be fine. HE is reaching out to ME, he is calling, he is emailing, asking me to dinner...i see all of these things as signs that he wants to continue contact with me and for me, now would not be a good time to shut him out. i'm not throwing my arms open by any means. but the whole point of doing all these things i'm doing is to get him to walk to talk about things, which is what he's doing or working on doing. i'm working on being the best me i can be, and i like where it's been taking me.


Me30 H29
M2.5 T5
H moved out 1/23/2010
H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010
...feeling hopeless