how do i keep my hope alive?

[pearlharbr]

TTA, Talia is right. You're setting yourself up for a huge crash if you start believing everything H says or does right now is meaningful. Have hope but continue to work on detachment. It sounds like you are happy when he calls and unhappy when he doesn't call. This is NOT good. No matter what happens you need to learn how to create your own happiness and not rely on someone else for that.

Moving to your own place, your service trip--these are good things to focus on. Keep your focus on yourself.